Rules of the Massachusetts Academy
by L1701E
Summary: Emma Frost is tired of the insanity of her Hellions, so she tries to give them some ground rules. Good luck, Emma. Read and Review please!


**Rules of the Massachusetts Academy**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel Comics.**

**Hello, fans! L1701E here, and with a new one-shot for you! Basically, I was inspired by reading one of my old "Rules" fics, and I thought, I've done the West Coast Misfits, and the Avengers, and maybe for fun, I'd do the Hellions' rules for some laughs. Check it out!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned the Hellions, I'd have used _Secret Invasion_ as an excuse to resurrect the original members.**

**The Massachusetts Academy**

Emma Frost, the Headmistress of the Massachusetts Academy, walked down a hall, carrying a plaque. The blonde mounted the plaque on the wall.

"There." The White Queen nodded in approval. "It's in the perfect location. I'm sure my students will be able to see this and read it just fine." She walked away. A few minutes later, a curvaceous blonde teenage girl, dressed in a pair of jeans and a red halter top, was walking down the hall.

Jennifer Stavros, the luck-manipulating Roulette, was listening to the Ballroom Blitzers, an LA band headed by the West Coast Misfit known as Wildstar, whom she had a thing for, on her iPod. She was bopping and singing along.

"_Rockin' through Atlantic City, red and black, she tossed her golden locks and..._" She sang when she noticed the plaque. "Huh?" She pulled her earbuds out and red the plaque. "Rules of the Academy? Hmm. I'd better get the others. This will be good for some laughs." The blonde turned off her iPod and walked away. A few minutes later, the Hellions were gathered around the plaque. "See, guys? The Warden's got some regs for us."

"Hilarious, Jennifer." Haroun al-Rashid, the Morocco-born cyborg human cannonball codenamed Jetstream, rolled his eyes.

"Looks like Miss Frost herself wrote these rules." Monet St. Croix, the dark-skinned,dark-haired super-strong flying telepath codenamed M, deduced as she examined the plaque.

_**Rule 1) Empath, do NOT attempt any more of your mind games.**_

"Oh, come on!" Manuel de la Rocha, the Spanish emotion-manipulator codenamed Empath, groaned. "It's how I get my kicks!"

"And the last time you did, Jennifer beat you senseless with a baseball bat." Haroun reminded.

"That was funny." Sharon Smith, the lavender-haired ailuranthrope codenamed Catseye, giggled.

"I enjoyed it." Jennifer shrugged with a smirk.

"Didn't Miss Frost say she would actually _kill_ you if you did it again?" Fabian Marechal-Julbin, the bio-electricity generator codenamed Bevatron, smirked.

"She should've just done it already and did us a favor." Monet snorted.

_**Rule 2) Beef, Bevatron, no more of your stupid pranks. **_

"Yes, that last one was not very hilarious." Monet growled at Fabian and Buford Wilson, the powerhouse codenamed Beef.

"Yeah, it was." Buford snickered.

"Oh come on, St. Croix." Jennifer laughed. "I thought green slime suited you perfectly."

"Monet, you were just mad that we finally managed to get you." Fabian chuckled.

"Yeah, the look on your face was priceless." Buford chortled. The other Hellions chortled, making Monet's face redden.

"Let's just read the next rule." The Monaco-born mutant girl muttered under her breath.

_**Rule 3) Do not EVER give Catseye catnip!**_

"Oh, God!" Empath groaned. "One time! One blasted time! Give a catgirl catnip one time and you pay for it for the rest of your life."

"And they say _I'm_ stupid." Buford shook his head.

"You make Catseye's head hurt for whole week!" Sharon snapped at Manuel.

"The last rampage was..." Marie-Ange Colbert, the redheaded French precognitive codenamed Tarot, winced. "...not pretty at all."

"I never thought one person could wreak so much havoc." Monet shook her head.

"That did explain all the fish in the pool..." Fabian blinked. "...and the calls from the aquarium."

"Who would've thought that it was possible to hang a man from a flagpole like that?" Haroun remarked.

"Catseye sorry. Catseye didn't mean to do all that damage. Catnip makes Catseye all loopy." Sharon's face reddened in embarrassment.

"It's alright, Sharon." Marie-Ange reassured with a smile. "It was Empath's fault."

"Sharon only got off the hook because she's Frosty's favorite." Manuel scowled.

_**Rule 4) Never mess with Jetstream's cybernetics.**_

"Do you know what it is like to not have any control over your arms and legs?" Haroun frowned. "It is quite an inconvenience. Not to mention that it is extremely embarrassing."

"It was funny." Manuel chuckled.

"Hey, you pinned that one on us, ya jerk!" Fabian snapped at the Castillian emotion-manipulator, pointing at himself and Buford.

"Luckily, Miss Frost didn't believe that." Haroun nodded.

"Yes." Monet agreed. "After all, Fabian and Buford put together barely have the combined intellect to drink a cappuccino, much less pull off a prank like that."

"Hey, remember that one time you ended up with green hair, St. Croix?" Buford snickered. "We did that." Monet's jaw dropped.

"You royal-!" Monet snarled at Fabian and Buford. "I had to cancel a date with Wildstar because of you!"

"Like he'd want to date your arrogant tramp ass anyway!" Jennifer laughed. "Don't worry, Monet. I took him out."

"WHAT?!" The Monaco-born powerhouse screamed.

"Yeah, I did." The blonde smirked. "We went out to a burger joint he owns. He said he'd never be able to take you there, because he knew you'd whine about the food." Monet snarled.

"Jenny, maybe you'd better shut up." Fabian suggested.

"Yeah, she looks real mad." Buford winced.

"I was very surprised that Ace was willing to take either one of you out." Marie sniffed.

"Oh, since when did your opinion matter?" Monet snorted at the French redhead. She whirled on an open-mouthed Sharon before the catgirl could say anything. "And I don't understand what Ace sees in you either, you walking mange magnet! Just because you're Miss Frost's daughter does not make you the top girl around here!" Sharon hissed.

"Catseye does _not_ have mange." Sharon hissed as she transformed into her transitional feline form. "You take that back!"

"Speaking of you girls' collective boyfriend..." Haroun pointed out the next rule. "I suggest that before you all kill each other, you read this.

_**Rule 5) All Ballroom Blitzers merchandise is now contraband.**_

"Oh, no..." Buford's jaw dropped.

"Something tells me that this rule is going to cause a _lot_ of hell-raising." Fabian winced.

"Yup, she's still mad at him." Manuel noted.

"_**WHAT?!**_" The Hellion Girls all screamed in unison.

"Oh, dear..." Marie sighed. "Now I have to take down my poster."

"Miss Frost is _**not**_ taking my CD!" Monet growled.

"This is bad, right?" Buford blinked.

"Oh yeah. This is bad." Fabian nodded, running a hand through his brown hair. "This is very bad. This is very, very bad."

"She has lost her mind." Haroun groaned. "Demanding the girls give up their Ballroom Blitzers merchandise is like asking Captain America to surrender."

"I am going to march up to her office and demand she rescind this rule!" Monet exclaimed.

"Well, I don't know about you all, but I could use a break from all that loud music." Manuel grumbled, rubbing his ear. "I have no idea what you see in that moronic flea-ridden airhead, and those series of discordant disasters he calls he calls music." The girls all glared at him.

"Manuel, you really like the taste of your own shoes, don't you?" Fabian snickered.

"What?" The Spanish mutant blinked at the angry girls. "Don't you people remember _why_ he joined us? So he could spy on us!"

"I think they forgave him for that." Buford pointed out. Without a word, Monet grabbed Manuel by the back of his head, and...

_WHAM!_

She smashed the emotion-manipulator's head through the wall right next to the plaque.

"How ironic." Haroun noted. "Look at the next rule."

_**Rule 6) Try not to kill Empath. I know he is an annoying pain, but his powers are an asset.**_

The Hellion codenamed Jetstream looked at the unconscious Manuel, then looked at Monet, and finally, at the other Hellions.

"I will not say a word of this if none of you do."

The other Hellions nodded in agreement.

"Feh." Sharon kicked the knocked silly emotion-manipulator in the leg.

_**Rule 7) Do not hide Tarot's cards.**_

"I know that my ways are a little strange, but I would appreciate it if none of you messed with my cards." Marie sighed. "I cannot use my powers without them."

"So? You never use 'em much anyway." Buford blinked.

"I don't want to depend on them." The redhead explained.

_**Rule 8) Catseye, please stop giving everyone dead animals.**_

"Yeah, it's disgusting." Monet grimaced. Sharon glared.

"Sue Catseye. Catseye has trouble dropping old habits." The lavender-haired catgirl grumbled, crossing her arms. "Besides, when cat gives you dead smelly things, it's an expression of _love_, you twit!" **(1)**

"This is why I'm not a cat person." Jennifer sighed. "Give me fish anyday."

"Mmmm, fish..." Sharon smiled dreamily.

_**Rule 9) Beef, Bevatron, stop spending spam to the Baxter Building and Avengers Mansion. It is getting ridiculous.**_

"How come we got two rules?" Buford blinked at Fabian, his regular partner-in-crime. The brown-haired bio-electricity generator shrugged.

"I dunno." He then looked at a piece of paper in his hand. "I wonder if that box of fake vomit I ordered on eBay had arrived." The other Hellions groaned.

"Here we go again..." Jennifer sighed.

_**Rule 10) Girls, if you must fight over that infuriating Wildstar, then can you at least do it somewhere away from the building. I'm tired of paying repair bills.**_

"The last time you bunch had a catfight, you blew up my room." Buford recalled with a sigh. "It was very difficult to clean up."

"Yeah, sorry about that." Marie winced. "I meant to hit Monet with that lightning bolt." She glared at the dark-skinned powerhouse.

"That accident would never had happened if the other girls didn't just simply give up and admit that Ace Starr desires me."

"Oh, no..." Haroun groaned.

"Ah, man..." Buford groaned.

"Here we go again..." Fabian sighed.

"You?! HAH!" Sharon laughed. "Ace and Catseye are felines, St. Croix!We connect in ways that you cannot understand."

"Please." Jennifer rolled her eyes. "You two are completely insane. It's pretty obvious that Ace Starr likes blondes." She smirked and flipped her blonde hair. "I tell you, when he first saw me, he got knocked out by my knockout self."

"Where he comes from, curvy blondes are a dime a dozen." Marie scowled. "He probably looks at you and thinks, 'Oh great, another curvy blonde. Oh, haven't seen one of those before in LA. Would be no surprise if she was a bubbly and giggly airhead'."

"I'm not a damn airhead!" Jennifer snapped.

"You giggle like one when Ace is around." Marie grumbled. "Do you really believe he finds _that_ attractive?"

"I think we'd better get out of here..." Fabian suggested. He, Buford, and Haroun fled.

"More than he finds you, you twig." Jennifer snorted.

"That's it!" The redhead roared. She pounced on the blonde, and the two started to catfight.

"Hmmph." Monet snorted as she watched the two catfight. "And they wonder why Ace is so disgusted with those savages."

"He doesn't like you!" Sharon snarled as she engaged Monet in her own catfight. The fights drew the girls away from the scene.

Manuel de la Rocha still was unconscious, with his head in the wall. He would remain that way for several hours.

_**Thanks for reading!**_

**(1) – A line Garfield the Cat said from a 1981 _Garfield_ strip.**


End file.
